10 STRATEGIES TO MAKE YOUR CHILD LESS LIKELY TO WANDER AWAY

If we want to reduce how often a child elopes , we need to be detectives.

We need to solve the mystery -Why is my child wandering away?

What happens before and after your child wanders? Does it give you a clue to why your child elopes?

Once you know why your child elopes, find an appropriate way for the child to get what he wants or needs without eloping.

Example:

Alia has a habit of running out of the classroom. Yesterday, she was in her classroom. The teacher told everyone to fill out their math worksheets. Alia wrote her name on the sheet and then wrote down answers to two problems. She started to fidget and she erased her third answer 3 times. Then she ran out of the room. She was found in a bathroom on the other side of the school. She was sent to the office where she stayed until mom picked her up. She received a zero for her math worksheet.

Looking at this scenario as a behavior detective, I ask myself, why did Alia run away?

I look at what happened before and after Alia eloped to see if I can find any clues.

I see that Alia was fidgeting and erasing erasing answers just before eloping (running out of the room).

After eloping, she was sent home and received a zero on her math worksheet so she never had to go back and finish it.

I surmise that Alia probably ran away to escape doing her math worksheet.

Another clue I see is that Alia’s mom was called to pick her up so it’s also possible that Elia eloped just because she wanted to go home.

To reduce Alia running out of the classroom in the future, I need to find ways to make Math worksheets easier so Alia won’t want to escape them, and/or give Alia other ways to escape Math worksheets so she doesn’t need to run away to gain escape.

I also need to either remove the consequence of Alia going home once she elopes or I need to give Alia another way that she can ask to go home.

Ways to make Math easier so that Alia doesn’t need to escape it.

· I could teach Alia how to ask for help with her Math.

· I could give her an easier math worksheet

· I could ask Alia to only complete 3 problems at a time and then take breaks in between.

· Alia could receive tutoring in Math

· Alia could go to a pull out math class for special needs where she could receive more help at her level.

Give Alia a way to ask for a break instead of having to elope to get a break:

· I could give Alia break cards that she could use to ask to go to the break area in the back of the classroom when she gets overwhelmed.

Ways to reduce eloping if Alia is eloping just so she can go home:

· School policy prohibits Alia asking to leave and then going home in the middle of a school day so that is not an option.

· But, I can make a new rule that if Alia runs away again, Mom will not be called to bring her home; instead, Alia will be sent back to her classroom.

Strategies to reduce eloping:

Each strategy ties with the reason why the child is eloping. Pay attention to why a child is eloping and then pick a strategy that addresses that cause.

1. Make Tasks Easier

If your child is trying to escape a hard task, break it into smaller, easier steps. Celebrate even small successes to keep them motivated.

Examples:

· Molly runs out the door of the classroom whenever she struggles with math worksheets. You could reduce the amount of math problems Molly has to do.

· Junior runs out the door of his Sunday school class when he is told to clean up the toys. Instead of telling Junior to clean up the toys, you could ask him to put the trains on the shelf and then ask him to put the tracks in the basket.

2. Give Breaks

Sometimes kids just need a break.

Offer short, scheduled breaks during tough or unwanted activities.

Teach your child some way to ask for a break—whether it’s words, pictures, or gestures.

Examples:

· Jackson wanders away whenever all the kids are at the table doing activities. You could set a timer and give Jackson breaks in the play area so he does not have to sit at the table so long. You could gradually increase the length of time sitting at the table so he builds a tolerance for it.

· Carlos sneaks outside whenever he’s supposed to be cleaning his room.

You could set a timer so Carlos receives play breaks during the clean up time. You could also teach Carlos to say, “I need a break”. If Carlos is non-verbal, you could give him a card with a photo on it of the bean bag where he sits and look at books or plays with a stuffy. You can teach Carlos to show you that card when he needs a break.

3. Make Fun Things Available

If your child is running off to do something fun, try bringing the fun to them. Include activities they love into their routine so they don’t feel the need to leave.

4. Keep Them Interested

Boredom can make kids want to wander. Add some engaging toys, games, or sensory items to their space. Switch things up now and then to keep it exciting.

5. Use Visual Schedules

Kids often feel more comfortable when they know what’s coming next. Use a visual schedule to show them their day. Include fun activities to look forward to.

6.Use first then statements when appropriate.

Sometimes kids elope because they want to get to a preferred activity, thing, place, or person.

Sometimes they elope because what they are doing is taking too long.

First then statements can help with both these reasons why.

By letting a child know that something they desire is coming up next, it gives them the motivation to finish what they are doing.

Examples:

· First finish 3 math problems and then we can play with legos

· First sit at the table and then we can have a snack.

· First clean up the toys and then we can go outside to play.

7. Offer Choices

Sometimes eloping happens because kids feel like they don’t have control.

Offer simple choices, like what to play with or where to sit, to help them feel more in charge.

Examples:

· Would you like this shirt or this one?

· Would you like to eat your potato’s first or your broccoli first?

· Do you want to do your homework at the desk or at the dining room table?

· Do you want to brush your teeth first or take your bath first?

· Do you want to share the blue truck or the red truck?

8. Avoid Triggers

If certain things in the environment bother your child, like loud noises or bright lights, try to minimize those triggers.

Tools like headphones or a quiet corner can help.

9. Reward staying where they are supposed to be.

Catch your child staying in a safe area and give lots of praise or small rewards. Let them know you notice and appreciate it when they stay where they’re supposed to be.

10. Teach your child to ask before they leave an area.

Examples:

· Teach them to verbally ask

· Teach them a gesture that is a request to leave

· Teach them how to use an AAC device or PEC cards to ask to leave.

11. Create Routines

Routines make life more predictable and less stressful for kids.

Give them warnings before transitions so they know what’s coming next, like, “In 5 minutes, we’ll clean up and go outside.”

12. Teach them how to request the desired item

If your child is running away or wandering off because when they do, they are given an iPad, toys, snacks or other items they want, one way to reduce them running off is to teach them how to appropriately request the desired item and no longer give that item if they elope (wander away without permission).

13. Create a safe calm down corner.

Examples:

You are going to visit grandma for Christmas and you know it will be loud. Carrie runs away from loud rooms. She also struggles being with a lot of people at one time. So you bring Carrie’s tent, her noise canceling headphones and some toys that she likes and you set it up in the corner of Grandma’s living room. You show Carrie the tent so if she gets overstimulated she has a place to go.

· Brad is in your 5 year old class. He has ASD and is non verbal. During the lesson time or song time, Brad sometimes wanders away and a few times he’s gone out the door. Thankfully, someone has always seen him and followed him out but you are afraid that he could wander out and go into the road. You create a sensory area for Brad in the back of the class and teach him to go there instead of leaving the room.

14. Give them positive attention and do not give them extra attention for running away.

Many children learn that if they elope they will get attention.

Examples:

· Mom and JayJay are at the playground. JayJay is looking at mom expectantly as he’s climbing up the ropes. Mom doesn’t notice as she continues talking on her phone. JayJay runs away from the playground and hides behind a maintenance shed. Mom ends her phone conversation and can’t see JayJay anywhere and is terrified. When she finds JayJay, she gives him a big hug. Tells him how scared she was and then doesn’t take her eyes off of him for the rest of their time at the playground.

· Justin is in his kindergarten class. The class walks in line up to the lunch room. On the way to the lunchroom Justin leaves the line and runs a little ways away from the class. His teacher yells at him to get back here right now. The other children laugh.

In both of these instances, the children are running away to gain attention. In order to prevent or reduce them running away, we could give them positive attention and no longer give them attention for running.

· In example 1, Mom could say something to JayJay every few minutes. For example, “Wow! JayJay, You are such a great climber.” Then JayJay is able to gain attention without having to run. She could also teach JayJay how to get her attention without running. If he’s verbal, She could teach him to call her name or say, “Look at me.” If he’s not verbal, she could teach him to take her hand or wave. Mom will also have to stop giving JayJay attention if he does run. She could find him and say in a neutral tone of voice, “Let’s go” and then take him home without talking about the running or giving it any other attention. On the way home, she would act how she would usually act in the vehicle.

· In example 2, by running, Justin gains attention from the teacher yelling and the class laughing. In the future, the teacher could give Justin a line leader job where he has the attention of his peers. The teacher could frequently tell Justin that he’s doing a good job leading the line so that Justin does not need to run to get her attention. The teacher could also ask an aid to follow the class to the lunchroom. Then when Justin runs, the teacher and the class can continue walking to the lunchroom, ignoring Justin’s running behavior. The teacher should not even make eye contact with Justin as she walks the rest of the class to the lunch room. The aid who is following, could just say to Justin, “Let’s go to the lunchroom,” and wait for Justin to follow. The aid should keep a neutral voice and should not make eye contact unless Justin is walking towards the lunchroom. She should wait him out and just watch to make sure he is never in danger. By giving him a way to get positive attention and no longer reinforcing his wandering away, Justin’s eloping behavior will reduce over time and will eventually stop.

The goal is to find out why your child is eloping (leaving without permission) and help them learn appropriate ways to get those wants and needs met. Then they will no longer want to elope.

Small changes can make a big difference!